Well…well…this is not unusual. She’s gorgeous! The guys are gawking and she definitely has their attention. There’s “confidence” written all over her and she has curves to die for! She’s the one who gets approached. The one who gets asked out and introduced to his friends! Wait, but then there’s her. She has a beautiful mind, a big heart, intellectual and funny! She puts him at ease. He always has fun when she’s around, she has great stimulating conversation and he really likes her. However, her appearance is…ah…let just say, lack-luster! Let’s face it. I’ve heard that men put a great deal of emphasis on the way a woman looks. Her appearance can significantly influence whether she’s put on full display or cloaked in dating darkness. Oh my, is this true? Is there only room for beauty, none for brains in a man’s world? I can’t help it…I have to know, so let’s go!It’s a known fact that women consistently compete with each other. We are always sizing each other up, looking each other up and down. We even have attitude with someone we don’t even know simply by the way she looks! We make comments *either to ourselves or to our girlfriends*…like”she thinks she’s all that” or “she’s such a B*****,” humph… you fill in the blank! I think this behavior boils down to how much attention she’s getting from a man.
What are you thinking…Mistah?
Franklin, age 25 says…”Date if she’s not attractive??…questionable, but guys will screw her if she’s ugly.”
Kelvin James…48 says…”Beauty and brains are necessary.”
AND
Nathan, age 42 says….”Beauty and shape are very high on the list as we are visual creatures….if we are looking for a relationship we will lower beauty/body standard for a good relationship (mostly mature men)! Definitely like confidence. As for meeting our boys, SHE HAS TO REPRESENT OR WE WILL FIND SOMEONE WHO DOES…WHAT OUR BOYS THINK REALLY MATTERS. IT IS ALL ABOUT EGO!”
Whoa…does that mean there are men dating women in the dark? This mindset was depicted on an episode of “The Game”…Hosea Chanchez’s character, Malik Wright, refused to take a "Thick" sistah out to dinner because he was afraid of what his boys would say! Mmmmhmmm…yes, I believe this very thing happens in real life ladies! But do ALL men feel this way? Is there redemption in the dating camp?
What are you thinking…Mistah?
Ian, age 42 says…“My women must be able to stimulate my mind 1st before anything else. I love sex appeal and again she has to know how to work it and flaunt it…and of course she has to have that embedded love for God, a personal on going relationship with Him.”
Oh my…there’s more…
Kevin, age 35 says…”Dagg, I would have to get used to her first…I want to be able to do it automatically…however I love brains!”
Sam, age 49 says... “She could look like Halle Berry on the outside and be a nut on the inside. Looks are ok but very expensive! I don’t worry about my boys; I make my own decisions about women.”
Well, well… so there is some light at the end of the darkened tunnel! So I will conclude by saying our “beauty” is not only determined by outward appearance. I think most men will do a combination of beauty, brains and confidence. If they are unwilling to introduce you to their friends/family, then YOU define your worth! Remember you are beautifully and wonderfully made by God. There is no need to compete… just stay sweet, strong and sexy in your own beautiful way! Do your best to be stylish and sophisticated…it goes a long way! And…please…don’t worry, HE will happen when you least expect it! AMEN?
Got something to say…Holla at cha Shalagurl! SMOOCHES!
*Names used are fictitious in order keep identities private*
Disclaimer: The information in this or any other blog is based on findings on how most men feel and personal experience regarding men.
From a woman's perspective, I believe it's hard being beautiful on the outside and also being unattractive. For the beautiful woman who attracts attention, it can be an absolute turn off because of the constant attention. Why can't a beautiful woman just go to the supermarket and not be "gawked" on men?! "Gawked" meaning someone always staring as she's coming and when she passes by, she feels the eyes staring from behind? Or, a man always has something to say. Why can't it just be a respectable "good morning"? Why do men have to make sounds like "mmmh" when a gorgeous woman passes by? Very annoying. Also when a woman is beautiful she suffers from lack of friends. As you say, girls are very judgmental of other girls and that's sad too. So who suffers most - the beautiful woman or the not so beautiful woman? I bet the not so outwardly attractive woman has a great number of friends and is not judged every time she walks the street just because she looks different than the average chick! Women are beautiful by their own right - their behavior can display a beauty that the exterior doesn't show. Too long....sorry.
ReplyDeleteFinding a companion is hard if you didn't find that in your 20's and stayed together. But if you didn't stay together and now your 30 yrs old well the game changes and you begin to have a more open mind to meet a person that share qualities that one would want for a future marriage.
ReplyDelete~Poster Boy~
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteAnnonymous: Not long at all and you made some very cool points I might add. Ever experience a beautiful person on the exterior, but their attitude/ways stink! They don't look so attractive on the outside do they? And the flip side also applies!!! I say...Just be the best, wonderful "You" you can be...both inside and out! Most time your best relationships happen when you least expect it! Thanks for your comment! :)
ReplyDeleteHi Poster Boy...I agree...it does get harder as you get older. I believe if you focus on being friends first, it will not be as difficult as one may think! I have learned from my past errors that if we take our time and get to know that person, the opportunity for further growth in the relationship will develop in a healthy way! If it doesn't grow further than a friendship, at least you have a friend for real! Mostly, we jump right into initmacy and next thing we know we are lableing each other..."my man and my women" and we don't even know each other!! I say relax...don't rush..and take time to develop the relationship...you will find out if this person is your future sponse with a lot more clarity! Thanks for your comment!
ReplyDelete