So, you really do like him...but are you always getting his voicemail? Does he call you right back when he misses your call or are you calling several times in a row until you get him? Hmmmmm.... The cellphone can be a handy gadget to engage in conversation, but ladies, do we sometime treat this efficient accessibility as a relationship? We are having a love affair with voicemail and making googly eyes at our text messages! OMG...STOP!!!!
What Are Men Thinking: "The phone can be used as a means of introduction, but I can't actual grow a relationship with it."... *Sam, 42yr old male* In my own experience and that of others, I realize that phone calls with males do not necessarily mean there is an intimate connection. Ok, ok…you may say…”well I know this guy who just will not stop calling me, what does that mean?”
What do Men say: “Well it can be meant as a booty call! We are hunters; we will call until we break a woman down. Or we may really like her…it depends. Usually if we like her we will ask her out and depending on our conversation/connection, things may go further. Not all conversations will end in a serious intimate relationship though.”…32 yr old male...Anonymous
Beware of the Ex-boyfriend/Ex-girlfriend factor: In my experience the phone calls had a lot to do with ego. Yes sometimes there can be restoration of a relationship; but watch the timing on that, ladies. If time keeps tickin, tickin into the future and he has not gotten further than the seven digits…time to seek greener pastures, gurl!
In closing, I believe when God created women, he meant for the man to introduce love and relationship to her. After all, he was the first one to encountered perfect love through his relationship with God. Let's give our men an opportunity to find us. What should we do? Be prepared! Be beautiful, vibrate, intelligent, God-fearing and sexy! I'm tellin you, no man can resist a women that is EVERY WOMEN! And in the exuberant words of my sista friend, Glenda..."Your celly should be a supplement, not a nutrient!"
Holla at cha Shalagurl with a comment...SMOOCHES!
*The name used is factious in order keep his identity to private*
Disclaimer: The information in this or any other blog are based on findings on how most men feel and personal experience regarding men.
Hey girl, great topic
ReplyDeleteWhile I am no authority on relationships, I totally agree with Anastasia's perspective. I don't think women should chase a guy, she can demonstrate interest if the guy is interested in her but she should never be the one to initiate anything. Men are naturual hunters and they will pursue a woman as long as they are interested in her, she won't have to do a think other than be prepared (like you said), be sexy, vibrant, intelligent, god-fearing. Don't reveal too much emotionally either as that can possibly send the wrong message. A woman should be mysterious. Confidence is important as you want the guy to know that you have your own thing going on and it your life does not revolve around him.
Your girl Gia Brown
Thanks Gia...AGREED!
ReplyDeleteThis comments is from Anastasia via Facebook:
ReplyDeleteNice video. I'm not a man but speaking from experience, I think men speak volumes by their actions. In the words of Lauryn Hill, "miscommunication leads to complications." If a woman has more of a relationship with the man's cell phone (...i.e. calling the man constantly before she receives a return phone call) that would tell me he's not interested and I should move on. Just my opinion but a woman who knows her worth should NEVER have to call a man over and over before he calls her back! Dishonorable and it diminishes a woman's self-esteem. Sorry enough to say men are not as great verbal communicators as we women are but their behaviour says all we need to hear. Plus God has blessed women with great "intuition". We need to learn how to listen to our intuition as well (and not so much our foolish hearts). My attitude is to just stay mindful of who we are and Whose we are (our bodies being the living temple of God where the Holy Spirit dwells in our midst - 1 Cor. 3:16, 17). Ask God for guidance and direction and if you see a relationship with a man causes more sadness (unhappiness) than gladness say like I used to in my pre-marital years "NEXT!" Be blessed to one and all
Well said Ana! Keep um comin...I wanna know how ya'll feel...especially the men!
ReplyDeleteFrom Andre via FB...
ReplyDeleteI must commend you Sharon on taking the first step. Lot of time it's not about who is right or wrong it's about listening and asking questions. In my relationship I find that ladies tend to assume or twist on what he is saying when lots of argument would not be happening if you would just ask what is meant. Do not assume ask. I hope I am making sense.
It just start with something so simple LISTEN and then all of us will have to start to compromise.
Exactly Andre...We must learn to listen to one another!
ReplyDeletehey shala! one of my friends - who is now married - once said - and it made sense... she doesn't let a man text her as a form of communicating. he must call her or spend time face to face. and she NEVER calls. i know another woman who NEVER calls a man. SHE is the one who is called. face to face is how relationships are developed. not on cell phones. i know it's 2011, but somethings never go out of style - like the power of SPENDING TIME together. texting is no substitute for that. and - btw, if ur always getting his cellphone - stop calling! duh - no brainer... if he's not calling YOU, it's not cuz he's busy - it's cuz he's calling someone else...
ReplyDeleteHaha...tis true...No brainer if your just getting "leave a message after the tone"... And Yes, Face to Face encounters are so much more satisfying and rewarding then "LOL" and all those acronyms we are using these days...I like ole school myself... :)
ReplyDeleteThe evolving nature of people and their relationships will always lead to this type of discussion. While core values, particularly those rooted in a Christian ethic, should not change, the expressions of these values change over time. And the paradigm shift isn't always that subtle. Here's a for-instance: Of all the previous comments, no one mentioned writing letters. It was all about phone calls vs. text messages vs. face-to-face. Wasn't so long ago when ALL professions of love, and the request for engagement or marriage HAD to be written. And it was only in the face of an existing written document that decisions were made. But society has changed. Very few people write letters any more - and apparently none of the contributors here expects it.
ReplyDeleteFor those women who "expect to be the one called" and who "would NEVER call a man", therein lies the core of much of "the problem" between the genders. That couldn't possibly form the basis for a serious discussion. I will say this. If I were ever to be dating again, and I get a whiff of that coming from a woman - just let's say that after maybe the third unreciprocated phone call, it's going to be a no-brainer: "I won't be calling you because I'll be busy calling someone else."
Gender-based arguments that rest on the premise that females have an intrinsic value that's greater than men - or vice versa - will lead nowhere. In a REAL relationship, sometimes the man will lead, and sometimes the woman will lead. But irrespective of who is leading, they should always be beside each other.
Work towards that...
Last comment: Get to know a man or woman as a person before starting a relationship with them. Invest the time to learn them before you start sharing your private thoughts and your affection. Just as people who are inherently good rarely (if ever) turn bad, people who are inherently trash don't ever change into a shining jewel. You HAVE to know who you're letting into your life - and only time can reveal that.
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ReplyDeleteNow that's what I'm talking about! I love, love, love your closing remark! I too had not seen the value in getting to know someone before entering into a relationship. The consequences in that lack of knowledge was the inability to sustain a relationship! I now know clearly that is so very important! Thank you for your insightful imput! :) Oh I must add this as well...writing letters are so under-rated! We definitely lost something worthwhile in taking the time to put our feeling and thoughts to pen...There's little to lose in translation with the written word! Writing a letter takes time, thought, and it's not like the express writing we do/get in a email or text...It tends to be much more meaningful! Just my thoughts anyway...thanks again! :D
ReplyDeleteIt's been a while since there were any posts on this Blog. It started out really promising, but the contributors seem to have lost steam - like we lose steam in keeping our relationships fresh and vital. Even Faith-based relationships will struggle and come apart if the parties involved don't work at keeping it interesting.
ReplyDeleteMy question is: How do you keep the emotional, intellectual AND physical spark in a relationship while still keeping yourself rooted in your Faith?
Hey Anonymous...Sorry I have been MIA for a minute. Not running out of steam...New topic will be posted within this week...promise!
ReplyDeleteNow..to answer your question, I believe we need to be friends 1st with our potential mate. I have learned that we forge ahead towards intimacy before we even know if we like the individual. Communication is KEY! It actually sparks the relationship without putting pressure on sexual tension...which seems to be where we fall mostly when trying to keep ourselves in the Faith.
It also gives the man a chance to relax in the relationship without feeling he needs to make decisions about going to the next level too quickly. I believe the man leads the love walk in the relationship. Remember...God chose him to find his wife. Also God requires man to love his wife as Christ loves the church and requires the woman to answer his love with respect. (See...Ephesians 5:22-25)
All in all...it's a challenge that requires balance, wisdom and trust! Remember to always to pray with and for one another and that you are like minded in many things, not just your faith!
Thanks for your input!